Thursday, February 17, 2011

Homesick

Recently I've been struggling to fathom how it is the Christ can and will forgive me of my numerous short comings. I just don't want to let Him down i suupose. I've also recently, after having a rad discussion with my roommate, recognized that for me, Christ has been mere book ends to my days. I begin my day by thanking Jesus for the new day(out of some sense of obligation) and I end my day by humbly asking Him to blot out my plethora of transgressions(in order to clean my "sin slate!"). No interactions in simple moments. No seeking Him out throughout the day. I really want to know Him more you know? I'd really like to talk with Him about the little or big things throughout the course of my days. Through grace I've come to an understaning of the eternal truth that Christ is Lord at a young age; and I guess I'd just really like to take advantage of it for Christ's Glory! I'd like to begin eternity now. Ushering in the kingdom through the spirit; using the time I've been blessed with wisely. Again, I'd really like to not let Him down for lack of a better phrase. I'd love to be on my death bed simply ecstatic at the ideal that my already preexisting relationship with Christ will momentarily be made more realistic.

13 comments:

  1. So raw and transparent, Nick. That's what I love about ya bro! I think we all struggle with this category in one way or another. Totally relate to you on the whole letting God down thing. I think it's hard for us to realize that His grace IS enough. That God simply wants an ongoing, repenting, loving, honest relationship with us. Not based on merit or achievement because we are all utter failures at being perfect or "winning" His love. For me, just taking time out of the day to be intentional with God and my relationship with Him has been so huge. We read so many books, listen to so much music and talk so much "about" Him with friends. But think about if we did that with a person we loved. If we simply just heard their voice on the radio, talked about them and read about them, we wouldn't really have the relationship that we truly desired. I actually walked to work today haha and it was soooo stinkin rad!! I actually might write a post on the experience haha because it was so awesome to just have silent and peaceful time alone with God to talk, vent, pray, and ponder with Him. Fasting has been another element that has been great lately in just searching for more authenticity in my relationship with God. Thanks for this dude :)

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  2. Being in a place of continually pouring out to others is one way that leads to a new filling from Christ. He also makes all things known to his friends (John 15:15) who simply spend time in his presence. Make a diligent search for him (Psalm 77:6). I'll be praying that your desire leads to a willingness of heart and practical fruit of more God-encounters throughout your days and nights.

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  3. Nick! Thanks so much for being honest about your daily interaction with Christ. I heard somewhere one time someone talk about breath prayers. That daily, when your having a hard time or faced with some type of menial challenge to just pray in the repetitive breaths that you take. Might be an easy way to start to incorporate God into the small moments of your life...

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  4. Dude, that is exactly me! I have gotten into routines of praying or what not and it seems it is more of habit than anything. Then I try and break that but I find myself less real with God for some reason. It just has been one of my struggles to continually seek God throughout the day. Totally can relate. When ya figure it out let me know haha. I'll do the same.

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  5. What Brandon said. I also share your thoughts about this...I want to know God personally, rather than knowing about him. Matthew 7:21 comes to mind. Thanks for sharing.

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  6. It hurts my heart to read that you don't want to let the Lord down, because you won't! Do not fear, for the Lord works everything for good for those who love Him and are called according to His purpose. He loves you, everything about you, especially your short comings, because that is where His strength is made perfect. And if you really want to talk to Him about everything throughout the day, then do it! May you take heart and be encouraged.

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  7. All last year I got into this great habit of bringing God with me everywhere. I remember thanking Him and praying to Him all the time. You just reminded me that I used to do that and then realized that I don't do that anymore. It got me thinking why don't I do that anymore?? I need to be more conscious of bringing God with me and inviting Him into everything I do. Thanks for the reminder.

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  8. Wow. Thank you all soo much! you guys are the absolute best. Each of your words were truly used by the spirit to speak truth into my life. Miss Corinne, thank you for the reminder that Christ Loves me, despite my numerous short comings; it was such a simplistic reminder, although it was rather nice hearing it from a real live person. Thanks to you all once again. much love!

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  9. Hey Nick thanks for sharing. This is something that also has been on my heart to be more mindful of God during every part of my life. I think the Lord is excited to see your desire to want Him to be walking with you through your day. He will bless this desire :) I look forward to hearing how God shows up in your day!

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  10. love the title of this, nick. ah, so true. just like in relationships with people, it's the little things that bring us into intimacy. without those, we're left feeling empty. i hope you're feeling encouraged to pursue thankfulness for the little things this week.

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  11. I love this. I want this so bad too. It reminds me o what Darin said last night about finishing our lives and goin up before God and have to give a testimony of our lives...but in reality, our life right now IS the living testimony. So good. Love you bro.

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