Recently I have been attempting to roll all my burdens upon the Lord. I have tried to see the "tests" throughout the course of my busy days. I have found that it is only possible to abide in the spirit through constant prayer; or at least a constant willingness to pray. I find that days I don't willingly ask for Jesus' grace upon my life are the days that I die. They become days filled with dishonesty, pride, slandering, lust and worst of all, a pity which holds Christ's joy ransom(partial credit to Clive Staples Lewis). As if joy was merely created to be joked out by my: "why aren't others noticing that I'm hurting inside?" For too long now I have been asking the Lord to make me a man of integrity and yet I continue to behave dissintegriously toward others. I desire to be a man of prayer and yet I do not choose to close my eyes and turn my heart toward heaven. I have begged the Lord to make me a man of my word and yet I have not even taken the time to hold fast to my commitment to each of you; which is reading your blogs. It is wrong, and for that I am deeply sorry. I now recognize that the cost of discipleship is obedience. Now instead of praying to be a man of my word and carrying on in my old ways, I will press on in honesty knowing that Christ will lead me. I am very sorry and I promise I will intensify my effort to comment and invest in each of your lives more. Thank you for your grace. May our Lord Jesus Christ bless each of your lives with His overwhelming peace and joy. Amen.