Thursday, April 14, 2011

Apologies...

Recently I have been attempting to roll all my burdens upon the Lord. I have tried to see the "tests" throughout the course of my busy days. I have found that it is only possible to abide in the spirit through constant prayer; or at least a constant willingness to pray. I find that days I don't willingly ask for Jesus' grace upon my life are the days that I die. They become days filled with dishonesty, pride, slandering, lust and worst of all, a pity which holds Christ's joy ransom(partial credit to Clive Staples Lewis). As if joy was merely created to be joked out by my: "why aren't others noticing that I'm hurting inside?" For too long now I have been asking the Lord to make me a man of integrity and yet I continue to behave dissintegriously toward others. I desire to be a man of prayer and yet I do not choose to close my eyes and turn my heart toward heaven. I have begged the Lord to make me a man of my word and yet I have not even taken the time to hold fast to my commitment to each of you; which is reading your blogs. It is wrong, and for that I am deeply sorry. I now recognize that the cost of discipleship is obedience. Now instead of praying to be a man of my word and carrying on in my old ways, I will press on in honesty knowing that Christ will lead me. I am very sorry and I promise I will intensify my effort to comment and invest in each of your lives more. Thank you for your grace. May our Lord Jesus Christ bless each of your lives with His overwhelming peace and joy. Amen.  

16 comments:

  1. Conviction is a powerful thing, my brother. What a beautiful thing it is when the Lord reveals things He wants to refine in us. He will always be refining... Your post is encouraging and I have been having similar thoughts/realizations that truly and authentically following Jesus costs you your entire life. Our whole lives must be offered as a living sacrifices (romans 12:1) so that more of Him may consume us in ways that are necessary for Him to be necessarily glorified through us as servants of the King. Press on, my brother. Godspeed.

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  2. Wow, I wish to encourage you to press on as well. Praise God for revealing these truths to you, may you seek Him and let the things of this world and the sin that so easily tangles us up to fall away to dust. I am praying for you as I re-read your blog and write these words. Growth is surely coming quickly. The Lord loves you and is leading you. But, you must follow. Walk in obedience and may you find joy in His faithfulness and may a greater, deeper passion spark in your heart.

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  3. First and foremost, apology accepted! I think it's wonderful that God has put it on your heart to re-realize your commitments, and that you are being obedient. I think in order to grow we have to take stock of where we're at and that doesn't mean that we'll always be moving forward. Unfortunately sometimes we remain idle or take steps backward. But what's really great is when we are able to refocus our efforts to what is really important--God and our commitments. Good for you Nick!

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  4. It is so good and necessary for us to realize this regulary. Thank you so much for helping me realize this in my own life as well. I dont want to die to the wrong things anymore. I want to die to myself for Christ alone. I apologize too brother. You are a mighty man of God and I admire you so much. Love you brother.

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  5. I have a lot of respect for you and like Brennan, I admire you as well. I hope that you're doing well, I feel like I haven't talked to you in a while. The first step in the right direction is recognizing which way you need to step, so you've got that... but let all of us not forget to actually take the steps. Action. I'll lift you up in prayer right now. It seems like you're making radical progress, so happy to read that. Loveeeee

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  6. I agree with all of these comments...this is a powerful thing, and I think we can all use this conviction in areas of our life! The cool thing is that...God clearly is moving in you...if He wasn't, none of this would matter...but it DOES matter to you, and that is so HUGE and such awesome indication that God continues to shape you, grow you, work in you, love you...and provide his mercies everyday. Awesome. thank you for sharing!

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  7. grace, grace, grace. it's such a complex thing. thanks for sharing this. i think all of us need to be better about investing in one another's lives.

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  8. thank you all! I loves the heck outta' each of you! Blessings to each of you. Stay in prayer always and do not quench what the spirit can do! Step into the freedom that Christ has for each of you and HOLD FAST!

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  9. You had me at constant prayer. Time to pray!

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  10. I love how this tied into something we were talking about yesterday! I am so excited to see where God is leading you in this! You are an amazing person and I can't wait to get to know you better. I love the part you when you talked about prayer. I seek that too and know that I need to be all in and in constant prayer with God. Thanks for the reminder.

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  11. press on press on. thank you for your honesty. let Him lead you. I am praying for you in this.

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  12. Thanks for the openness and honesty.

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  13. Thanks for your honesty. I think this is a hearts cry we all should have. Thank you for taking the step and being willing to be a man of integrity and obedience.

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  14. We are all in this together! Thanks for your devotion and your openness...even in times of struggle.

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  15. thanks for the honesty nick. we need to text each other randomly just saying, "pray."

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